My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
