glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
