check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
