Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think I sprained my soul last night
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
