dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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