Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
