You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was not drunk enough for that final.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
