I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
