Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
