i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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