he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
