i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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