its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
