Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
