It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
