Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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