After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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