you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
