i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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