Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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