made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
