none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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