it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
