you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
