We're facebook friends in real life
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
