I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
