If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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