wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
