His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
