If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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