i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
