"it" just moved
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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