So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Shame - the story of my life.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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