Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
