thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
