i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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