Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
