no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize