Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
