I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
