8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize