but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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