you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
