Can i not drive my cunt home
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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