we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
