Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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