the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He better not be in your backpack
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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