Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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