Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
