So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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