I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
