Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
