The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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