xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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