So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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